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as we can.
You re no different from the government if you argue that. Doing the unspeakable in the
name of good.
You should know.
I yanked my shirt back on, angry again. All my patients signed consent forms. They knew
what they were getting into.
Consent where there s no real choice, is no consent. She held up her hand as I drew breath
to yell. I understand your point. I'm only saying that when one is in an abnormal situation, it s
easy to lose sight of the real ethics. I think of all of us, Kir is probably the only one who never
has. Yet he does it anyway because he knows it s important.
So why don t you do it? You re a telepath, and a woman would have more chance of
success in this kind of work.
She stared at the ground. There are reasons why I can t. Kir s stronger than me. We abuse
that. I can t excuse it. I can t change it either.
So that s it. I accept Kir raped me for reasons people considered sufficient at the time,
leaving him and me both screwed up, and I'm supposed to go on as if nothing s happened.
She looked me in the eye. What you do is up to you.
I can hardly leave.
You could...possibly. Your memory would have to be erased. You know too much.
Another mindrape.
If you see it that way. You think we have so many choices? You think we aren t all coping
with trauma? Jeyle s husband divorced her while she was in prison and went off with his
mistress, taking their children with him. Hermi s lost access to his daughters and wife. I ve
lost...many things. We ve been raped, tortured, abused for so many years. We can either sit on the
ground and refuse to do anything because of the burden of our many sorrows, or we can get up,
go on and fight.
But you weren t raped by one of your own.
Hesitantly, she laid her hand on my arm. Only you can make your peace with Kir over that.
Normally it s the last thing I d tell a rape victim to do but these aren t normal circumstances.
And if I don t, then I'm on the outer.
Not with me, not with Hermi. Not even with Kir. Jeyle may not forgive you, but she s a
mother defending her chick. As for the rest of them.... Her lip curled in a sneer. Hating Kir
would probably make you a champion.
That s unfair. It s immoral.
She sighed. Since at least as far back as our earliest records, paranormals have shared a
common ethical standard, an understanding of how we have to behave if normals aren t going to
kill us out of hand. We don t use our powers to kill. Oh, we can kill. We ve been soldiers. But we
don t use our talents. Kir s done that, and the others are revolted.
But if he had to kill for good reason, why not use his talent? A weapon would put him at
risk, and he s not the first paranormal to do this, surely.
No, he s not, and others have done so with far less reason. But the taboo runs deep and isn t
lightly overturned. Kir didn t do so lightly, but he ll always put the protection of the innocent
above any other considerations and well above his own happiness.
And this cuts no ice with these people?
She pursed her lips. They believe there s always another way. I don t really know what they
expect Kir to do. I don t see any of them volunteering to take his place. He s had special training,
certainly, but others could do so.
His hands the tattoos were removed by the Weadenisis?
Yes. Their covert tactics are much more advanced than anything we have, and they
mastered the safe removal of paranormal tattoos even before the terrors. But people here are
proud. They don t want to think of themselves as spies. They want to cling to their professional
status, their high moral principles, and let Kir be
The garbage man?
She nodded. They ve made their choices concerning him. Now, so can you. Censure or
forgive. Only you know which will heal you most.
His power your power terrifies me.
Yes. And if it stopped terrifying you, you d immediately suspect one of us of manipulating
you. Take your time, Jodi. Think about it. Talk to him and talk to me. Kir s worth the effort to
understand. He s not evil.
He s lucky to have you as a friend.
You have me as a friend too, dear. Now, how s your head?
I paused and listened to my body s messages. Better. I feel wrung out.
Then maybe a nap after lunch, and then a good hour or two in the daylight room. Weren t
you and Ronwe supposed to be practising your talent at some point?
I d completely forgotten. Does it matter?
Yes. It does. So do it. Go on, and try not to fret about this.
I don t have anything else to do but fret. Have you nothing I could work on in here?
Yes, I do, but not today. Your thoughts are too disordered and you re distracting me. Shoo.
I really needed some damn shields.
~~~
I did as she said, ate, rested, and sat under the bright, warm daylight lamps. Physically, I felt
better. Mentally, I was a wreck. I wavered between anger and paranoia, self-loathing and loathing
of the other people here. I was in prison still a comfortable, well-furnished prison, but still a
trap. Being with Kir had masked this fact. Now I had no allies, and I was ready for exploitation
by another Ganwe. They were surely too fastidious to demand blowjobs but then they d happily
asked Kir to whore around for them, so maybe they weren t.
My mood lifted a little when later that afternoon Ronwe and his lover took me outside, away
from the mountain and along the Gulkami range, near Mount Kizwha, a small active volcano.
They explained that they used the volcanoes to hide their heat signatures.
Not that the Pindoni satellite system is that sophisticated, not officially, but we can t take
the risk, Lonin explained. He d once been an electronics engineer, Weadenisi-trained, and had
worked on the first satellite systems. Since relations broke down with the Weadenisis, the
Pindoni surveillance apparatus took a bad knock. We were leasing space on their satellites.
Putting our own up took a lot of time and skills we didn t have. Of course, we don t know
everything the government is doing now. I wouldn t mind betting our surveillance is at least as
sophisticated as theirs we ve got access to the Weadenisi data, you see.
Hovering in midair over a pristine, endless snowfield, great plumes of steam and smoke
rising a couple of pardecs ahead of us, and surrounded by vast, dark and white clad mountains, I
listened with only half an ear to his burbling. All this talk of surveillance and spying brought
back unhappy memories, and I didn t completely approve of what they did with the information
they received. But Lonin found it fascinating, so I pretended I did too. I d made enough enemies
that day. And being outside, however frigid the air, lifted some of the ever-present oppressiveness
from my heart. I amused myself watching the clouds of vapour coming out of Lonin s mouth, and
wondering if he talked this much in bed.
Finally Ronwe interrupted Lonin s long and technical explanations. Right. Jodi, make a
fireball about the size of Lonin s arse.
I gave Ronwe a baleful look as his lover smacked him.
Do I need to take my gloves off?
Only if you want to. He pointed at a spot a few midecs away from the aforementioned
backside. Just...imagine it. Then want it.
Kir s words came back to me, and I remembered the feeling....
A ball of fire about three midecs wide appeared with a slight pop and floated steady as a rock
right next to Lonin s butt. A jolt of pleasure rippled through me, much more powerful than what
I d experienced last night, and I gasped at the almost orgasmic sensation. I put a little more power
into the flames, and the pleasure ramped up, my balls tightening almost as if I was about to come,
but without the frantic need to do so. I swallowed and thanked fortune neither of my companions
could read my mind.
Ronwe crooned with delight. Yes! Perfect...no, don t lose control. I d let it drift down a
little in my distraction over my physical reaction. You re the master, not the fire.
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