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He stole cars. Over a period of time, a number of cars. Believe me, I hadn t the least idea
of what happened to your parents until long after you and he were had become a couple.
The first you told me of it was at the hospital, do you remember? I was quite ill at the time;
hearing about it almost made me have a relapse. Otherwise perhaps I would have handled the
situation better, but what good would it have done to have told you at that stage? Why should
you ever have to know? If we all knew the worst about each other, could we ever bear to be in
the same room with another human being? The two of you were so good together, why risk
spoiling it?
He was a car thief, is that what you re telling me?
Before you met him. Years ago.
I was so badly shaken for a while I could not speak. Eventually I said, You say he
recognised someone at the hotel?
One of your guests had a son who was in the same jail.
So a client at my hotel was a heterosexual ex-convict, is that what you re saying?
Some gay men do have children. It was his son who was in jail. I had to tell you because of
the worry that you might learn of it in some other way. He might have said something to you
about having seen Tom before. We couldn t risk you hearing about all this from a stranger.
Why didn t Tom have the guts to tell me himself?
This hasn t been easy for him. When he went up to Manchester that time it was because
he felt guilty, but he couldn t bring himself to confess to you, he thought you would end the
relationship if you knew. Of course he could not really run away from the problem. He
couldn t stay up there forever and forget about you. He came back and your feelings had not
changed, you still wanted each other. He s been terrified that you would find out. I m sorry.
We were wrong to keep it from you, badly wrong, but we never intended you any harm.
What do you expect me to do? You know what happened to my parents. You only get one
set of them, and when they re gone they re gone. You bastards.
Tom has never killed anyone. He had nothing to do with what happened to your parents.
You ve every right to be upset but don t to be too harsh.
Does he know that you re telling me now? That you re sitting there admitting everything
has been a deception right from the start?
There was no intention to deceive, never. The situation is hard for us as well, for Tom
particularly. We spoke on the phone before I came out tonight. He was so miserable; he was
talking about disappearing for good, whatever that may mean. This has been an awful shock
for you. Give it some time.
You re always telling me to give things time. What difference will time make? Will it make
Tom any less of a bastard? Andrew s face was very flushed, and concern about his health
helped me hold my feelings back. Let s not say any more. You go and get ready for your
holiday, and I ll go back to the hotel. We ll just finish it there and talk about business in a
week s time by phone as we planned.
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The three of us, you, he and I, we ve come so far together. We ve meant such a lot to each
other. We re all prone to error, anyone can fall...
Please stop, or I m going to say things I ll regret. The situation is bad enough without you
making it worse with excuses. Leave it there, please. If you don t mind, Andrew, I d like to go
back to the hotel.
He called for the bill. An hour seemed to pass before we were able to leave the table. We
found a taxi, but did not speak to each other until it drew up outside Goodmans Hotel. I
could cancel the holiday, if you think that would be best. The flight tomorrow is booked but I
could miss it; I ve been selfish, the timing, the way this has come out, I ve made a complete
mess of it.
No. Go ahead with your trip. Depriving you of your break won t change anything, will it?
You ve made all the arrangements, you d lose your money if you cancel now. Let s not discuss
this any more tonight, let s do what we planned.
A final word. Tom looked to me for advice; he did what I told him was best. If anyone is to
blame it s me.
I m going, Andrew. I don t want to hear this. We ll stick to what we planned. That s as
much as I can do. Leave it there, please.
I climbed out of the cab, shut the door and walked up to the hotel without looking back.
Darren sat at the kitchen table making notes from one of his text books and eating a bacon
sandwich. He must have read in my face that something was wrong; he put his sandwich
down and stood up. How was I to tell him that Tom, one of the people he had relied on and
trusted, was in reality someone from whom he should have been protected?
I m back. Any problems?
No. The people you were expecting have all turned up. I took two telephone bookings;
one is a regular so I said be sure to let us know if you change your plans, the other was
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