[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
Uncle Pierro is on the board of directors with stock options.
Don Pierro is a very clever businessman, LaFarge said with admiration.
This whole thing was his idea. He s the brains. Without him we wouldn t have anything. Not the
saint trading cards, nor the Jubilee logo plastered on baseball caps and warm-up jackets.
He is one smart biscuit, no? LaFarge tried his hand at an Americanism.
I think you mean cookie, but you get the idea. And consider that many of the faithful will not be able
to make this pilgrimage, but everyone will want a souvenir even if they can t attend the shrine.
It s high time that people start paying for their religion, LaFarge added.
That s the spirit. Now try and work with this Stool fellow. He s the source of all this largesse. At
my end, Rene, I m going to create a web site and issue a Papal Bull that proclaims that anyone who makes
the pilgrimage, either in person or by logging on to Our Lady of the Crossroads website, will receive
absolution. It will count just as much to attend virtually as it does in person. We can set it up just like a
porn site. Uncle Pierro has plenty of experience with that.
Uncle Pierro, indeed, knew about the dot-com world. In his quest to take over legitimate businesses
and to establish his extra-legal operations in a legitimate, though high-risk guise, he was buying up small
struggling e-businesses.
What I need you to do, Sylvester continued, is get us some media attention. Maybe start a TV
show. Promote the shrine on local cable and make it a live feed onto the net, too. Get some journalists in
to interview our prophet. Clean the place up. Find some trustworthy Malaguans and give them important
and visible positions. In his excitement to instill into LaFarge the urgency of his mission to Delaware, as
he spoke Sylvester raised his voice, Our Lady of the Crossroads will be the attraction that puts us on the
roadmap of the information highway. Religious media rakes in billions of dollars a year, and it s time the
Mother Church took her rightful place in this vital and influential ministry.
The brandy was beginning to have an effect on LaFarge and he was slow on the uptake. Do we really
want to lower ourselves to the level of the protestant canaille& I mean really, isn t this all just a bit
unseemly?
Sylvester s excitement ratcheted up a notch. This is a war& a marketing war. It s all a matter of
public relations and promotion. We need to target the protestant viewers and steal them away from the
competition. You got to think about your marketing mix.
Quoi? LaFarge mumbled, completely confused by the Pope s tirade.
I thought you went to the Sorbonne. What did you study there?
Divinity.
Didn t you take any marketing courses?
It wasn t a requirement.
Big mistake, Frenchie& winning converts and keeping the flock in line is more marketing than
anything else, Sylvester refilled their glasses as he talked. We re salesmen when you come right down
to it, and there s a science to selling. It s all about fulfilling customer needs with the right product
type& and people need religion and they need entertainment. And to figure out whom to go after we
start with the larger generic market those people looking for entertainment. Then you narrow it down
to people who watch television. Then you break it down to those who watch religious programming. You
can get even more microscopic by breaking the segments down into evangelical, mainline protestant, and
mainline Catholic. We could use a multiple marketing approach and go after more than one segment but
the segment we re going after is homogeneous, substantial, and operational in so much as they want to be
sold& so it s more economical to select a single target segment and focus our resources there. Have you
ever watched the Catholic Hour on television?
Oui.
Pretty boring, isn t it? It reaches an audience of twenty-three thousand& Bennie Hinn has an
audience of twenty million and three percent of them phone in or mail a contribution in response to any
particular show. You need to convey a powerful visual image& just like in church, where religion is more
accessible and real with pictures and statues. Images give people something to look at, relate to, and take
their cue from. Sylvester advised his nuncio, That s the major problem with reformation
churches& they lack idolatry. Icons, frescoes, and statues illustrate for good Catholics what the saints
looked like.
But how can you make money on an Internet site? LaFarge asked in genuine ignorance.
It s just another form of entertainment. Appeal to people s base instincts and desires to get their
interest&
How do I do that?
Sylvester was getting exasperated. Use your imagination. For example, put a hidden camera in the
confessional and call it confession cam& voyeurism is big on the net. The Pope leaned forward and spoke
in a subdued voice, It s all about content.
Content?
Giving people stuff they want to see. Then you sell memberships. People give their credit card
number to gain access to the live feed from the shrine and you bill them by the minute.
But what of the heretics? LaFarge asked, a little overwhelmed at Sylvester s own vision of the
Jubilee.
Of course, you will find the heretics and condemn the heresy, that is why this is an inquisition.
Besides, you can broadcast all of your proceedings. These misguided souls must be shown the light, and if
we can fill up a portion of our broadcasting schedule at the same time& so much the better.
[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]